Do you keep procrastinating about getting clients? If so, I feel you.
I remember when I first started my business, I’d keep telling myself that l was going to reach out to people in my close circle to tell them about my services. But when it came to it, all of a sudden thoughts popped up into my head like ‘What if they don’t get back to me?’ or ‘What if they laugh or judge me?’
Then I’d start comparing myself to all these other 'successful' coaches on Instagram, asking myself ‘Why would anyone buy from me when there are so many other more experienced coaches out there?
I couldn't help it. These thoughts were so overpowering that I ended up not reaching out to anyone because I was worried they’d ignore me or even give me the dreaded ‘No thanks’ and then I was back where I started. Playing small, with no paying clients and no exit plan for the job I was miserable in.
If this sounds familiar, then just know that you’re not alone. These shitty thoughts are basically limiting beliefs. And they’re the single biggest killer of businesses that I see amongst my clients.
Some others I hear are:
I’M NOT AN “EXPERT”.
NO ONE IS GOING TO PAY ME TO DO THIS.
I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO BUILD A BUSINESS!
I DON’T HAVE EXPERIENCE IN THIS, SO NO ONE WILL HIRE ME.
IT’S JUST NOT THE RIGHT TIME TO START.
I’m sure I don't have to explain in great detail how any of these thoughts will hold you back if you believe them at any level.
So what is a belief?
It’s basically any thought about the world that we treat as truth or fact. They act as our mental map for what’s possible and not possible. They’re the lens or filter which we experience the world through and how we interpret reality. Basically, they’re the stories we tell ourselves about our lives.
Often, they are unquestioned and/or unconscious and they're usually on repeat. Needless to say, they're pretty important, because positive beliefs enable us to achieve real success, but limiting beliefs can completely debilitate us and stand between us and success. Sadly, they are all too common.
Where do they come from?
Usually, they're the result of information we've taken in throughout our lives - shaped and formed by our childhood, friends, families, education, experiences, etc. They can be from when we were told off, criticized or even just a statement we heard over and over again. For me, I was always told ‘We can’t afford it’, so I grew up believing that money was hard to come by.
So, why is changing our beliefs so important?
Because - unsurprisingly - we believe our own beliefs and if they’re limiting, we’re therefore limiting our potential success.
The problem is, it SEEMS that our beliefs are an accurate representation of the way the world is. They SEEM true to us. And because our minds like to filter information so it fits with our existing beliefs, we tend to get more of what we’re believing in or focusing on. Have you ever decided to buy a car or book a holiday and then all of a sudden all you see is that car or hear about that holiday destination? That’s our mind giving us more of what we focus on.
Which is great when we have positive beliefs, but shit when we have limiting ones. Because, as humans, we like to prove ourselves right, so we seek evidence which substantiates the beliefs we have about ourselves.
Think about it - once you believe you’re not able to do something, your ability to do it is reduced because you don’t make the effort. This then leads to crap results and negative feedback which then reinforces the belief you held in the first place. Basically - if we put crap beliefs in in, crap results will come out..
Now imagine you have thousands of beliefs all working to create your version of the world as you see it. And most of those are negative. Scary huh?
Oh God… so what can we do about it?
Well the good news is that our beliefs are far from facts. They're learned and actually a heavily filtered, biased version (among many possible versions) of the way things are in the world). So even though they seem real, they're pretty much made up! So as beliefs are learned, the unhelpful ones can be unlearned.
If it's that easy, why isn’t everyone doing it already?
Well sadly, most people aren't even aware of the concept of limiting beliefs. They just assume their beliefs are TRUE and don't even realise they CAN change them, let alone how to.
Which is why I wanted to write this article - to make people aware that they can change them and tell them how to. So lets get stuck in:
4 steps to change your beliefs to grow your business
1. Ask yourself:
Is what I'm thinking an actual fact? Or is it just a story I've told myself over the years?
What evidence do I have to support it?
What is ONE specific example where it was not true. For example, for the belief “I am not creative”, can you think of a time you WERE complimented on your novel idea?.
2. Now come up with a list of powerful ‘what if’ questions to counter your limiting belief & begin to open the gates of resourcefulness. An example could be: 'Running my own business is going to be difficult' and your 'What If Questions' could be:
What if running my own business is easier than I think?
What if its just the first step that appears difficult and every step after that will get easier and easier?
What if I've got all the resourcefulness in me to start making this look easy?
What if its just like another time when something seemed difficult and turned out to be easier than I had expected?
What if I just need to get out of my own way?
3. Now take your most appealing and powerful positive 'What If' question & cross out the words ‘What if’ at the beginning of the question (and also remove the question mark) and then add the word ‘because’ at the end.
E.g. the question 'What if I'm good at running my own business?' would become ‘I'm good at running my own business because'
4️. Now give yourself full permission to go on a mission to complete the statement with as much supporting evidence as you can generate or bring to mind. Go to town on it and say the words out loud to yourself.
I know you might be thinking that this seems impossible right now, because I felt that way too. But over time I managed to change by beliefs and change my mindset, so it totally possible for you too. You just have to want to change them badly enough to make your business a success.
And if you want help to get there faster, then my 121 coaching is for you. Together we bust through the shit-talking in your head that’s holding you back and develop a badass entrepreneurial mindset to help you get paying clients fast.
So if you're ready to finally get that business started so you can find that freedom and flexibility you're dreaming of, then let's talk.
Meet Lauren
Business Coach & Side Hustle Queen
Hi, I'm Lauren. I burnt out from the corporate world, hit rock bottom and used the experience to create my dream life. I now help passionate and ambitious women start and grow businesses. I'm living proof that you can - and deserve to - have it all.