As I pressed the send button, I thought a little bit of vomit might come out of my mouth and my heart felt like it was falling out of my bottom. No, I wasn't sending a resignation email or breaking up with someone over text. My coach was simply making me post an article on LinkedIn. To some people that may seem like the easiest thing in the world, but to me it felt like doing a bunjee jump (don't get me started on those.)
People who know me or follow me might be surprised to know that I had a massive fear of visiblity. I was absolutely terrified of putting my message 'out there' and being seen and heard.
The thing is, in my personal life, I'm opinionated AF, gregarious (AKA loud) and seemingly confident, but when it comes to my business I suffered from mad imposter syndrome. Despite being a qualified coach with a number of really happy clients, I still wondered 'Who was I to be talking about XYZ' when there are so many more experienced coaches out there with something to say?'.
This all left me feeling frustrated and annoyed with myself and I had a constant nagging feeling that I 'should' be posting, as I knew deep down I was a good writer and had interesting and useful things to say.See? Even coaches have doubts and fears. But thankfully - as said coach - I was able to put everything I've learned to good use and now I'm not only posting regularly on LinkedIn, but I've also grown my Instagram by 25% and I'm getting regular business enquiries from both.
Here's how I got over my imposter syndrom:
1. I reframed my negative thoughts.
Leaning into what I'd learned during my CBT therapy, I took phrases like 'I can't' and 'What if it goes wrong?' and reframed them into 'How CAN I'? and 'Imagine how amazing it will be when it works'. It was quite amazing how this very simple thing suddenly got me out of that story I'd been telling myself all this time.
2. I got specific about it my fear.
I asked myself things like 'Who could help me with this?''. Answer: my coach (yes even coaches have coaches!). He literally made me post the article in front of him on a Zoom call. Gah!. Another one was 'What 3 ways will my life be better when I achieve this?' Answer - People will know about my coaching, I'll be helping people and I won't feel frustrated with myself anymore.
3. I worked out what my fear was about emotionally, physically and financially.
This was pretty easy - I knew there was no real physical or financial impact, so it was all emotional and came down to a fear of failure. What if people didn't like my content or disagreed with it? I'd feel embarrased, ashamed and regretful.
4. I gave myself a reality check.
These 3 questions worked like a charm:
'What's the worst that can happen?' Answer - people would comment on the post that I didn't know what I was talking about and mock me severely.
'How likely is it to happen?' Answer 2/10.
'What's my strategy for avoiding that?'. Answer: 'Write from the heart, make it clear it's your opinion and be your true, authentic self.'
And there you have it. A simple four-step process to getting over your fears and turning them into fuel. The main key for me I would say was vocalising it to someone, as once it's out in the ether, you almost have to do something about it. If you don't have a coach, talk to a mentor, friend or colleague about it. Hell, even talk to your dog.
If on the other hand you would like some accountability and a gentle 'push (ok ass-kick), in the right direction to get over your fear, then drop me a line for a complimentary coaching session.
Meet Lauren
Career Change & Business Coach and Side Hustle Queen
Hi, I'm Lauren. I burnt out, hit rock bottom and used the experience to manifest my dream life. I now help passionate and ambitious women change career, start side hustles and grow businesses. I'm living proof that you can - and deserve to - have it all.
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